A Day in the Life of Termina's Ganondorf
by Kirbunny431
Summary: We all know the story of Hyrule's King of Evil, Ganondorf. However, never has been told the tale of his Terminian counterpart. What exactly has this alternate Ganondorf been up to for all this time? Very slightly implied Alt!GanonxOC. One-shot.


Ganondorf Dragmire confidently strode toward the Clockwork Café in East Clock Town. His red hair was neatly combed back, his face cleanly shaven. His prominent nose and dark skin further emphasized his Gerudo heritage. The early morning brought temperatures around forty, and as such he found himself wearing a thin, black coat. Upon entering the restaurant, he said in his gruff voice, "Morning, Yori," to the young woman off to one side.

Yori dried her freshly washed hands on a rag as she replied, "Mornin', Ganon."

Ganondorf removed his coat and hung it on the employee coat rack before tying his well-worn apron around his waist. He sat his tall chef's hat atop his head and rubbed his hands together, a jolly grin decorating his face. "Ready to get to work?" he asked his co-worker.

"I guess," Yori said after releasing a troublesome yawn that refused to be choked down. "Business should be going up now that the moon isn't going to fall down and kill us along with the rest of Termina."

"You said that yesterday, and only four people showed up," Ganondorf replied. "We spent most of our day contemplating the wallpaper. What makes you so sure that we'll get any more business today?"

Yori's face grew mischievous. "I was just kidding yesterday. Today, I'm actually serious. You just watch; we're gonna get tons of customers today."

Ganondorf released a hearty laugh, one that almost everybody in Clock Town had heard at least once. "If you say so," he said, grinning.

A few minutes passed before the day's first customer entered the café, a brown-haired man who looked like he only gotten half as much rest as he should've. "That's my cue," Yori said as she quickly tied her blond hair into a ponytail and grabbed a pitcher of water and a menu.

Ganondorf retreated into the kitchen and began making general preparations. He tinkered around for a short time until Yori shouted the first order into the kitchen. "Two eggs, standard order!" she said. He nodded to himself and went to work. Through a process which most readers are either familiar with or don't care about, a standard order of over-easy eggs was skillfully prepared in record time. Ganondorf shoveled the order onto a plate and handed it to Yori through the window near the front of the kitchen.

A few minutes passed before the next order came in. "I need two regular fish breakfasts out here; one bluegill, one salmon!" Yori called.

Ganondorf grimaced. _Must be Anju and Kafei_, he thought. They were the only people he knew who would ever order that. Why was it even still on the menu? Personally, he couldn't wrap his head around the idea of having fish for breakfast.

Despite his dislike of the concept, he set to work preparing the orders. He wasn't very skillful with the preparation of fish, thus it took him much longer than any other dish would. Still, it was rather fast, compared to the feats of other restaurants. Once he'd finished, he felt as if he'd just committed a sin. Nevertheless, he gave the plates to Yori without a word.

Fifteen minutes passed with no new orders coming in. To keep himself occupied, Ganondorf alternated between composing short melodies by knocking his knuckles on the metal stove and sitting on a stool, staring idly at the wall. Perhaps his career wasn't consistently enjoyable, but sometimes interesting moments would occur.

"I already told you, no!" Yori shouted. It looked like it was shaping up to be one of those times.

"C'mooooon," someone else said in response, "just let me use it!"

"For the tenth time, no!"

"Please?"

"Ugh, for the love of…Ganon, get out here!"

Ganondorf complied with the summons and exited the kitchen. He found Yori standing behind the counter that the cash register resided. She was arguing with a bald man in a white shirt, who was standing in a fashion that suggested he immediately needed to answer the call of nature. This was Sakon, a man who valuable objects had a suspicious tendency to disappear around.

"What's with all the shouting?" Ganondorf asked once he made it to Yori's side.

Yori pointed an accusing finger at Sakon and said, "This guy keeps pestering me about using the bathroom in the back, and I've already told him a billion times that it's for employees only."

Ganondorf took Yori by the arm and pulled her to the kitchen. Sakon called after them with a weak, "Wait!"

Safely out of earshot of Sakon, Ganondorf said, "The restroom is open to the public. Considering that you lied, I take it you don't trust him."

"Of course I don't," Yori replied, her cheeks growing red with anger, "and I know you don't either. The main office is right next to the bathroom, and we keep all of our money in there. I don't want him back there unsupervised."

"Admittedly, we have it hidden pretty well."

Yori looked out the kitchen window to make sure that Sakon was still standing where they left him. "He wouldn't want to get back there so urgently unless he knew where to find something good."

"Fine, I'll try to get him to go away." Ganondorf and Yori exited the kitchen and walked behind the counter again. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, sarcastically polite, "but we simply can't violate company policy and let you use our facilities here."

"But I really need to use your mon-I mean, bathroom! Yeah, bathroom, that's it!"

Ganondorf slammed his fist down onto the counter in a sudden spout of anger. While not one who actively tried to be strong, he possessed immense strength. So much so that he cracked the granite countertop. "Listen, you," he said in a low voice, "I don't care why you're really here; I just want you out. Go check out the Eastern Eatery across the street. Their 'bathrooms' are a lot 'fancier' than anything we have here."

Sakon's eyes suddenly took on a devious sheen. "Why thank you for the information, kind sir," he said, "I think I'll go take a look." Without another word, Sakon left the Clockwork Café, no longer performing his dance of urgency.

"Brilliant," Yori said, "You just took care of two problems; a thief, and the competition."

Ganondorf shrugged. "I'm good at coming up with plans," he said.

Yori nodded. Ganondorf proceeded back into the kitchen. Over the next couple of hours, business picked up a bit. There were now at least three people in the café at all times. There was no boredom to be found in the kitchen. All in all, the day was turning out to be rather decent.

That is, until he showed up. It was the dangerous, mute lunatic that people would talk about now and again. He looked rather innocent with his diminutive stature, his pointed ears, his green tunic and hat. However, this kid was a wolf in sheep's clothing. The first thing he did upon entering the restaurant was break all of the pots. He slashed at some with a sword he probably shouldn't have been allowed to have, while others he lifted above his head and threw against the wall. Every single one was destroyed within seconds.

Ganondorf, who was taking a quick break outside the kitchen, lamented the loss of such fine ceramics. Then, the kid began shouting and rolling around the restaurant. There was no reasoning for this; he was just yelling at the top of his lungs and somersaulting himself into walls, chairs, tables, and sometimes people. Despite that last bit, the few patrons who were milling about the restaurant saw fit to ignore the child's presence instead of running away in terror as one would expect. These antics proceeded for many minutes. Once the kid apparently decided he'd achieved a sufficient concussion, he rose to his feet and began to make his way toward the door.

And then he saw him. The kid froze right where he stood. His round, blue eyes went unblinking as his jaw dropped open in shock. Ganondorf had no idea why the boy would react this way to the sight of him; he was certain he'd never met this kid at all, let alone in a way that would warrant such a reaction.

Ganondorf barely had time to react. The boy unsheathed his sword and raised his shield, as if he were about to fight. With no warning, the boy charged forward, leapt into the air, shouted a loud, "EYAAAH!" and brought his sword down. Ganondorf reflexively jumped backwards to avoid death at the hands of a madman. His maneuver sent him slamming into the wall, which rattled several pots and pans hanging in the kitchen.

The kid crashed into a wall as well, causing him to drop his equipment. Yori was the first to react. She grabbed the boy by his collar, lifted him to his feet, and proceeded to give him a good scolding on "how he just crossed the line." Ganondorf would've considered breaking the pots to be "crossing the line," but he kept this thought to himself as he was a bit stunned from hitting the wall so hard.

Once Yori straightened the boy out, she kicked him out of the restaurant. Next, she inspected the massive dent Ganondorf created when he collided with the wall. She rubbed her chin in thought before saying, "Nice one, Ganon."

"Don't go blaming this on me," he said defensively.

Yori laughed. "You could've just taken that sword slash like a man, but no. You just had to damage our fine wall, as well as the wallpaper we'd spent so much time contemplating yesterday."

"Quit trying to be funny. It doesn't amuse me."

"Liar."

"Can we just get back to work?"

"I guess so."

The rest of the workday proceeded without a hitch. Once all of the customers were gone, Ganondorf and Yori cleaned the restaurant, set the chairs atop the tables, locked the doors, said their goodbyes, and went on to their respective homes. And similar events would unfold the next day. And the day after that. And so on. So goes the life of Termina's humble chef Ganondorf.


End file.
